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Drew on Fire

Compliance Matters

Post-Its are ectoplasm

Don’t get me wrong, they can be useful. There are those workshops where people slap them around on walls with words like ‘OPTIMISM’ and ‘EMPOWERMENT’ scrawled on them. I am sure that can help but it’s a bit earnest for my taste. I prefer quiet reflection.

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The next cucumber

Notices are one of those things that give me nervous twitches. If you want a clue about what an organisation is like, read its notices. A notice is so often a sign of a glitch in the works. For the sake of my sanity, I have named these glitches cucumbers.

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The chicken and the wheelie bin

I used to be quite calm about door wedges before I worked at Fireco. Even on fire doors. In hotels, universities, factories – in any place you can think of, the door wedge rules. It’s cheap, it’s effective and it’s lethal.

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Do gnats get verrucas?

When I was ten, I remember playing with a compressed air vice where my Dad worked designing and selling automation products. He was in his office, probably wondering which hydrocheck or solendoid operated valve to use and happily smoking.

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Fire industry groupthink

To test if a diamond is real, try it on a mirror and it will scratch. People believed this long after Zirconium paste was shown to be equally able to pass the infallible test. It astonishes me how susceptible we are to psychological bias.

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Software thingy car scandal

The current frenzy about cars artfully dodging emissions regulations is synthesized.  Made up. People in the industry (I bet) have been rolling their eyes and saying that they have known it for decades.

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Car smothered with sticky notes

If animals were types of communication, the gazelle might be the tweet, an SMS a sweet little humming bird, an HMRC letter a rhinoceros (thick skinned and charges a lot) and a posted paper letter the most ancient dinosaur anybody can think of. Faxes might...

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